New.Old.

The transition, sometimes I wonder how something new becomes old or something old becomes new once again. Is it a horrible thing if you want that old thing to once again be new, or when that new thing relates nothing to what the old was at a time. The taste of slightly chilled air, italian festivals marking the end to something great, people feeling lonely all over again because cold weather tends to do that to mammals. Why is happiness not a constant, yeah a smile can leave a dimple imprint on the cheek and for that split second life is possibly happy, but how do you keep that forever, you can only wash off the replicated drawing on ones cheek at the days end. No ones world is as it seems, so in a sense everyone at some point in time is fooled by another. This is life, a twisted game that pleasures people in so many unaccountable ways. Humans are the only mammals known to kill for the pure pleasure of killing, so as strangers cross paths daily and names are exchanged, and time is spent, and interests grow, those new things become old with no knowledge of which part is the better of the two. The new unsettling part, or the old all too comfortable part. This circle burns pits of stomachs, a fetish for the new will leave a person with no experience of old things, and infatuation with what is old does exactly the same to the new. People tend to find there own solutions to the "I need the opposite" problem which commonly happens. Yes, so you let the old thing go and grab something new, then there is haunting of those memories old, yet there are memories made with that of the new all while wondering how everything could have turned out more perfectly than it did, and the vicious cycle continues ...

Nothing

No Pictures, No Evidence, No Nothing of the life I have lived for the past months or so. This is, in a way, the story of this summer in a nutshell. I loved the summer months, but no one will understand just how amazing it was to me. I lost many and gained few, and hell I learned so much. I, however, realized one factual detail about myself in the past few months. I have this concocted notion of how I like things, and how things should be and for some reason I never drift away from this notion. This has caused me to never truly enjoy something until its gone, or never to love while love is current. I never appreciate something enough until I have totally annihilated it. This is my problem, my drug, as if its a rush to get rid of something and then attempt to get it back although its been utterly mistreated. My punishment is working myself to death, maybe I will learn to enjoy the things I always take for granted when I have little or no time to preoccupy myself with them. No worries, next time I will throw myself into a situation without completely figuring out its beginning middle and end ... for now its gone.

The Bar

The Bar treats people well for the most part.  Two Mojito's and a glass of Champagne can really muster up a brilliant night. 

Mojito One: Seated, two people, female took her seat first, shortly after a male sits beside her in an attempt to engage in conversation.  Female is hardly intrigued, but nonetheless figures its one plus mind to keep her occupied for the moment.  Male speaks of college, professions, all things normal and female can sense he is the all too common unconfident guy who attempts conversing in an over-exaggerated confident manner.  Male hands her his card and a few opportunities, a flicker of interest but nothing she cares to pursue.  Female expresses her gratitude and is more than pleased when male leaves early.  Male was no contender for her and he watched as female payed for Mojito One, automatically breaking the golden rule of The Bar. In females eyes, that painful conversation could not have ended sooner, a moments bathroom break and she returns to her seat at the bar.  

Champagne: Still Seated, female is now engaged in a deep conversation.  A male, Friend One, is explaining the game of cat and mouse.  Female is attempting to understand the way the male mind works in a specific situation.  It seems as though it is difficult for her to grasp why many males have hardship when accepting females solely as friends. Friend One sums it up as a simple male jungle-like survival method.  If a beautiful woman is introduced to a circle of males, one individual male must claim it, because if one male does not claim it this causes a bit of conflict in the group.  Now what happens if a female does not want to be claimed? Female can hope they accept her friendship however more than likely one, in the male group, is intrigued by her presence, offsetting the friendship achievement.  In other words, the female cannot win, however in the game of cat and mouse, the mouse is often able to retrieve a loop hole in response to possible failure. Before a conclusion could be reached, female is interrupted by a glass of champagne, courtesy of an intriguing fair skinned male. Male flashes an American Express card while purchasing with his alternate card and conveying a confident, sexy look.  Needless to say female was finally intrigued, but to no furtherance for male takes him and his following clan to a more impressing place of fun: the strip club. Female goes to sit in a surrounding plush chair to interpret that last encounter and she is finished with her drinks at the bar. 

Mojito Two: Reluctantly, female is once again seated at the bar.  This time for appeasement reasons only, for a male would not detest in offering her a paid for drink.  The choice was clear, a mojito for her, water for him, female felt a bit remorseful but enjoyed her final drink of the night.  Once again, female is plagued by yes and no questions, irrelevant information, and the aura of a non-confident man.  In order to speed up the process, female rushes to the inevitable: receiving a card.  Unfortunately male is all out, and gives female his number instead. Female does not recall the males name and labels him as "Don't Answer," thankfully now she can leave. They both rise up to leave and Male attempts to plant a goodbye cheek kiss on female, needless to say female, in an appalled manner dodges that bullet and then finally leaves the bar.

What Are You On?

Australia

Last night I opted to stay home from my invites to Elevate and Greenhouse. As exciting as those venues might be, I am not the type to club three days in a row, so I usually alternate one day of the weekend nights as my "home time." I am not quite a movie buff or the best person to judge an amazing movie either. Even though I lack emotion, for some reason I tend to cry at every sappy seen, close my eyes during the frightening moments, and laugh at the slightest joke: Its pretty sad. Nevertheless, I try to watch at least one new movie a week in order to evoke some emotion out of me.

A movie titled "Australia" was the movie choice last night. I wasn't sure about the title or the description being the subject of driving cattle thousands of miles, but the actors in it and its length intrigued me. It starred Nicole Kidman, who is pretty amazing in my eyes, and Hugh Jackman, who I wouldn't be upset to reproduce for. A three hour length also told me there had to be more to this movie than what the description pointed out. So I turned off the lights and triggered the play button.

Needless to say the movie was amazing and had more to it then just cattle. It involved everything from the evolution of a woman to the evolution of a love story as well as the evolution of Northern Australia. I would recommend this movie to anyone that wants to gain knowledge in more than one area when watching a movie. It literally brought me to tears one too many times in those three hours ...

Situation One

Female and male meet each other ten months ago. Initial attraction was enticing, both male and female were intrigued, as she is with half the men who approach her.  They explore a different form of the dating scene at first, attending different museums and restaurants attempting to get to know each other. By month four they are close, keeping up conversations all day long and the "like" factor is clearly noticeable.  Female enjoys conversation with male, but somewhat realizes he is not the type to intrigue her physically. she brushes it off, believing that mental is of more importance.  At that peak a showcase of attitudes brings out the worst sides of both of them, she realizes he is too coward for her, he believes she is irrational.  They break for three months, no real contact, no further explorations, all ties were cut.  

One day female has this breakdown, realizing how much of an important friend he became in that short period of time, she attempts to salvage what little of the friendship is left.  This works, they are back at it again, only this time the museum antics are no longer and the restaurant tastings are bland.  Male is limiting female and she feels this, so she limits in return.  They reach the ten month point female is sleeping in the males bed twice a week, meeting different people from the males life, it is a tad bit more than she anticipated experiencing. Female is even more unsure of the match up, feeling as though male does not compliment her physical nature at all, it is starting to eat at her. Male now expects a hurdle to be jumped: Sex.  

Male wants sex and needs sex, but females morals are just too strong for her to allow any variation.  They have officiated the relationship and yet still female will not give in, she feels as though he has not proven himself enough in an unlimited amount, she holds strong to her beliefs.  Male is fed up, a waste of time and money, upset, he does not wish to continue a friendship with female, this is his confirmation of her irrationality.  Female is strong willed and hearted, she believes if a man cannot respect the basic morals laid out from the start, than there has to be a finish.  Male is upset and angered with such a "selfish bitch," what he now considers female to be.  Female is disappointed, had male been patient, he would have been rewarded, instead she now confirms he was not physically her match up and nor was he her mental. 

 

They part ways ...

To Be Continued ... 

Lipstick Jungle?

Yes, Lipstick Jungle 

Originally a novel and then a show, I am sure the name rings a bell. Although these things inspired the title, a specific "he" inspired me to begin blogging (He who remains nameless of course).  Im not quite the woman's woman, I don't have many female friends, nor am I a one man's woman, as in relationships have not worked for me ever.  Despite all this, the mind intrigues me as do the people who dwell in this wonderful city, none other than thee New York.  So, This blog pays homage to the wonderful life I get to live in this city, those things I see, do, hear, & feel and also my view on the way to solve the trials and tribulations occurring in This Lipstick Jungle.